"Never expect things to be good" A blog from Chris Welton

Thursday 24 July 2008

Obama is Wunderbahr!

When Barack Obama speaks, it’s hard not to listen.

What an enormously powerful and optimistic speech he just delivered in Berlin.

I do really worry though, this might be the beginning of the end . He’s loved across the world but what really matters is America. Will normal US town folk relate to such a bold, sweeping and ambitious speech directed at the entire globe rather than issues affecting their everyday lives?

But surely he has to be the choice. Come on America, how can you not vote for this man? He is the future! Right then...if you don’t elect him, I think we’ll have to appoint him something greater than your country can offer.

Step forward Barack Obama, President of Earth!

Tuesday 22 July 2008

Bob Saget's your uncle!

I think I've blabbed out Hubdub before, but just thought I'd give you an update now I'm actually doing well. This funtime news prediction site is highly addictive and run by some superb fellows and a great community. This week, I am kicking so much arse, I have actually beaten everyone on the entire site! That's right! My clever betterooney on Hamilton to win the German Grand Prix (god he tested me; by almost NOT winning). Check out my whoopage! Out of 1227 users, I have the highest weekly gain!


Think you can beat me? I'm currently putting most of my money into F1. Check it.

qmwztlxb3



Kerrang! have seen the light yet again this month. A pretty staggering double whammy really: First Converge on the front cover, now in the Kerrang Awards Dillinger Escape Plan are up for Best Live Band. Vote for them! Watch this video as a lovely reminder why they should win. Oh, and remember, everytime you vote for Avenged Sevenfold, a sweet little adorable kitten is murdered!

Monday 21 July 2008

Set fire to the update on fire!

Before you can say "4 weeks!", I'm back! I am stunned the time has flown by with no updates over all this time. Lack of blogging is not good. Not good in the slightest. Sure it wasn't a "Ten years!" moment but I didn't even do a Glastonbury/Wakestock review. As Andy Gray would say "Poor!" Jay-z was incredible, the vibe was tremendous, yada yada yada, old news...

Anyway, I did write a blog about my iPhone 3G purchase, but I never put it up. Was this a decision based on preserving my integruity and not bragging? No. I simply didn't put it up. If you want to read about my thrilling tale (it was pretty exciting, honest) of my 3G purchase, then go here

Anyway, just to update you all, I wore ankle socks for the first time today. Now, the weather today has been superb. Walking through Princes Street Gardens I am genuinely excited by the precense of tourists, so long as we are rewarded with some sun to boot. But for some reason, I have been consistently cold in the office. Why? Is there a particular draft right by my feet? No. It's these pointless socks which barely go over my ankles. Both my legs have been unusually cold all day all because of these last-pair-in-the-draw socks. Good in hot conditions + shorts. Absolutely pointless in Edinburgh.

Second exciting piece of news today. The Google Street View car whizzed past my office today. No fibbing at all! I'm certain cos Jemima Kiss blogged about it earlier today with some photos showing the camera equipment. My desk looks directly into the road but at wall level, so I can't really see most cars. But then, this black pole with cameras and some yellow computer attached rolled on by. I think it is a bit like when Charlie finds the Golden ticket. Except it offers no whimsical prize, and doesn't come with a nice bar of chocolate. Unfortunately I was rooted to my desk and didn't get out quick enough to be forever immortilised on Google Street view! Bah! Keep up to date with Google ghost car appearances with this handy map.

N00b Mac fan and the 3G iPhone

This is the story…of one man’s journey…to seek out the holy grail of his time…coming this July…rated 12...

Scene:

Our hero struts casually into the o2 shop on Princes Street. Gingerly approaches, “iPhone 3G is here” t-shirt wearing assistant.

“Obviously you’re sold out huh?”

“Yeah…”

Interrupting “I saw the queue this morning and knew they’d be no chance.”

“…we sold out about 30 minutes ago.”

“WHAT!? 30 mintues ago? Awwwww you didn’t have to tell me that!”

“Sorry.”

“Dammit!”

“There are some still available in St Jame’s Centre o2 shop…”

Interrupting (a la Elaine Bennis) “Get out!”

“…they said in our last conference call there are about 8 left”

“Hmmmm.”

Our hero glances out the window of the shop. Car and people traffic is high at 5pm. He mulls the possibility in his head.

“Hmmmmmmm”

Shop-keep winks: “You might as well!”

Hero grabs his phone.

“Hi mum, just heading over to meet you…”

Explains O2 shop story.

Mum: “Well why don’t you just go?”

Turns on a sixpence

“Really?! You think I should”

“Why not?! Go for it! Good luck my son!”



A taxi comes into view. Our hero runs down the middle of the road to the car.

To Grumpy taxi driver 1: “ Can I get in?”

Grumpy Taxi driver 1 shoos our hero away: “There’s a stand right there.”

“But your light is on!”

“You’re in the middle of the road!”

“It’s on red…come on!”

Traffic starts to move

“Yikes!”



Pushes to front of queue for taxis.

Hurriedly polite: “Can I go to St Jame’s centre please?”

Grumpy Taxi driver 2 inaudible grunt

The taxi trundles along right into the Lothian Road traffic.

“Awwww come on, why are we going this way?!”

“grunt”.

“Humph!”


FLASHBACK

That morning

Our hero sits chatting with his mother and brother

“There was this huge queue outside the o2 shop. About 30 people or something.”

“Really?! Ah well, no chance then.”


Present


Time ticks down, 5:15…5.18

The taxi pulls slowly in front of St Jame’s Centre.

“Make it £6!”

grunt

“Tah!’

Mad dash with added skip into building.

“Where the fuck is the o2 shop?”

Scans map. “I am here, where is that? AGH!”

Spots carphone warehouse on right.

Hmmmm, perhaps? No! Tip was for o2 shop. Checks watch. 5.24 EEEEP!

Paces sweatily past rammed smoothie stand and tuts behind slow family. Movegoshdarnit!

Bounds into o2 shop.

Switches to subtle nonchalant mode. 3 men milling around, trying to get attention of shop assistants without seeming too crazy.

Our hero saunters up to the desk.

“Do you have any more iPhones then?”

“*nonplussed* aye.”

“Welll, could I have one?”

“*nonplussed* sure.”

Our hero emits a dramatic sigh. He wipes the beads off his forehead and takes a seat. A black box is placed on the table. iPhone 3G. He smiles.

FIN


..........
Not the dramatic ending I was expecting. But as my mum always says, it's better to enjoy the journey rather than just the destination. I felt like I was in the Amazing Race! It was so much fun!


The fact that there were so many iphones still on sale by the end of launch day in a major city was awfully strange and completely against the sensational media reports I scanned throughout the day. Perhaps there was more stock or maybe just less demand. Either way my tip off + the computers crashing actually helped me. Big props go to the sales assistant, desperate to leave work and go to T in the Park, who didn’t care about my proof of address or frankly any important details. Bish bash bosh I got the phone. It was all very exciting and yet in the end, quite an anticlimax. It’s not really a new phone is it? It’s got some wicked features but it’s still the same look, feel as previous. My internet isn’t really that fast either. But a Facebook application where you can take a photo and it’s instantly put onto Facebook?!?! YES PLEASE!!!! WIZARD! MY HIGHEST SCORE EVER…2 thumbs up!