"We aint going to the town, we're going to the city"

Recession, credit crunch, John McCain…yeah things are bad. Throw into that mix a huge dollop of encroaching Baltic weather and you’d expect a typically sombre mood seeping from Unserieslinked.

Actually, you’d be dead wrong. The chilly night skies are a welcome arrival. Wrapping up warm, leaving work when it’s dark…ain’t no thing.

In fact, living in a city I’ve realised it heralds the return of something all the more important.

Interpol.

It’s strange but completely obvious why Interpol suit such weather and surroundings. The brooding, dark tones pulsating from their three classic albums go perfectly walking in the cold night flanked by souring architecture.

The band aren’t just another throwaway artist too, they are simply life affirming. Each album conjuring up a very real mental recollection of a period in my life, moving along to the music…each different, all fascinating.

Take their most recent effort "Our Love To Admire". The album genuinely narrates a relationship of the past, with this period of my life condensed into music videos following each song. It’s absolutely perfect in the tone and storyline…maybe I’ll make that movie one day.

It’s a welcome return for Interpol. Genuinely one of my favourite bands of all time, well, from the list of bands that have started and evolved in my lifetime.

It’s also been a season of new music here at Unserieslinked. An inkling towards Lil Wayne, Glasvegas and the Gaslight Anthem, led to a shopping spree which led to weeks of enjoyable listening and eventually to overplay and indifference…but either way, great new artists, fantastic albums.

Lil Wayne is the one to talk about. Obviously. It sure sticks out there.

My knowledge and interest in rap/hip hop is limited but passionate. I do stick out in the crowd, but that’s ok. I know what I like and thanks to quips that Lil Wayne is the successor to Jay-Z AND Michael Phelps talking about how he’d whack on Wayne before winning each of his 8 gold medals…that’s a recommendation and a half for me.

His most recent effort, Tha Cater III is almost a masterpiece. It falls at the usual rap hurdle…too many songs. Why this particular genre of music feels there needs to be at least 15 tracks, I’ll never know, because usually the listener can’t enjoy the whole album in one session and ends up being indifferent/bemused by the remaining 3-4 tracks. Make Tha Cater III 10 tracks, it’s up there with the greats.

The opening six tracks dominates anything I’ve heard for a long time. Equal measure Jay-z, early busta rhymes and outkast, Wayne has created a fascinating mix. The much needed swagger is there, but Wayne knows humour and originality. An important combination for reaching more than the hardcore, while still hitting the top of the charts.

Lollipop is almost, almost a rap ballard. Soothing and mysterious, it comes so close, but the lyrics can't hide what type of music you're listening to: "She she lick me like a lollipop" and "I Let her lick the wrapper". Dirty swine!

While he’s touting himself as the successor to Jay’s crown, Tha Carter isn’t an inauguration. For one Jay-Z is far from retiring (again) and there is space for the two. What it is, if I can use a lame analogy, is similar to Theo Walcott taking over David Beckham’s England no.7 jersey. We all know the skill and promise of Theo, and yes we acknowledge he’s the future. But never write off Beckham, and never expect to hear the end of him…

"Take a bow son!!!" - Football season 2008/9 previews!

Ok…so Andy Gray doesn’t commentate on League Two games, much less would he utter such dramatic phrases for any of the typically bumbling goals we score, but the mighty Rochdale’s season has now begun and that calls for a nifty preview blog!

Last season, an amazing latter half of the season, saw the Dale reach the playoff final where we were, quite frankly, p0wned but a fearsome (for League Two anyway) strike duo. So what’s in store this season?

Well one things for sure, like most teams in L2 this season, the fear of relegation is that much more lukewarm, thanks to the triple whammy of points deductions. Rotherham, Bournemouth (n.b. Seth Rogan’s team “Bourne-mouth?”) and Luton have all been punished and will all start the season in the negative. This kind of cushion is a weight off my mind, despite the Dale’s quality surely meaning they’re nowhere near the rear end of the season come May 2009. On the other hand, look at Leeds, a deduction could be the kick up the arse these teams need for a huge surge up the table.

Summer transfer news?

We missed David Perkins in the final last season, and now he’s gone all together! Hopefully signing Jon Shaw from Halifax will bag plenty of goals along with last season’s top scorer for Rochdale, Adam Le Fondre.

My prediction this season?

With Keith Hill in charge, I do have faith and think 2nd place, automatic promotion could be in sights. Could I handle another day at Wembley? Sure, but we have to be a lot more solid across the park and not rely on the legend that is Gary Jones giving 1200% in every position going.

This week sees the first league home game of the season, and it’s only against local rivals, Bury. Given the result of our last local derby (you’re coming straight back down Stockport!) the Dale will be out to regain local pride. I’m delighted to be heading down for the game, in a season I hope to catch at least 10 home games.

Some league called the...Premier League?

As for the big stuff, I think Chelsea will come back and win the Premiership. Scolari is an incredible manager and you can already sense a more excited and confident collective at Stamford Bridge. Manchester Utd will push them the whole way, while I do believe Liverpool will keep in step until very late on in the campaign. As for the bottom? You really can’t see any of those teams promoted staying up can you? Windass and all, Hull will be rock bottom.

Fargo Yah?!

So, I've dedicated this week to watching "new" movies yah? And tonight, I finally watched the Coen's 1996 classic, Fargo.

I know I know, how on earth am I only just seeing this film. Yah. True. I can't believe it either. But there it is. Ok?

So, for those of you equally crazy to have not seen this flick, Fargo follows a botched fake kidnapping set-up by the wonderful William H. Macy and the persistent work of policewoman Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) trying to solve a series of murders.

One thing I must say right from the off...I couldn't have imagined the film to be so sentimental for such a dark tale. The relationship of Marge and her husband Norm is quite easily one of the sweetest unions I've ever seen on the big screen.

And Marge? She is simply a terrific character. A true movie hero. Dogged and right, she does her job well and is justifiably successful in the end.

A short and sweet thumbs up. Countless words of praise have made their indelible ink on Fargo, but I just wanted to add my praises, for an understated epic thriller with a huge dollop of Coen's black humour and squirting of crimson.

And the accents, oh yah? How can we forget those!

New film festival launches in Edinburgh.

The Chris Welton film festival started with a bang last night, with an unannounced screening of the 1993 classic children's movie, Rookie of the Year.

One of the all time great "kid miraculously gets good at sport - plays against adults, and wins" movies, Rookie of the Year stars future American Pie star Thomas Ian Nichols and future big ball of crazy, Gary Busey.

Nicholas plays Henry Rowengartner, a normal kid, who after an accident, becomes a major league baseball pitcher - with hilarious results.

The flick was greeted with spirited laughs from the sold out (*capacity of 1*) "Front Room" early yesterday evening, in a reorganised schedule from the planned "Control". (Organisers cite "Monday blues" as the reasoning)

Particular highlights include the spirited, if not rather underused, display by Scrubs star Neil Flynn (Janitor) as a very believable first baseman and Nichols' hilarious capers trying to steal bases by taunting an overweight pitcher.

The festival takes a break this evening but will return on Wednesday evening with Fargo, The Lost Boys, Fast Food Nation and Control all included in the screening lottery.

The Chris Welton film festival is in its first year and focuses on films recently bought for cheap prices from various outlets...but mainly £3 from Fopp.

You can support the Chris Welton film festival by letting Chris enjoy his evenings undisturbed watching films.

Ends

Editors Note: For more information go to www.chrisfilmfestival.co.uk

Obama is Wunderbahr!

When Barack Obama speaks, it’s hard not to listen.

What an enormously powerful and optimistic speech he just delivered in Berlin.

I do really worry though, this might be the beginning of the end . He’s loved across the world but what really matters is America. Will normal US town folk relate to such a bold, sweeping and ambitious speech directed at the entire globe rather than issues affecting their everyday lives?

But surely he has to be the choice. Come on America, how can you not vote for this man? He is the future! Right then...if you don’t elect him, I think we’ll have to appoint him something greater than your country can offer.

Step forward Barack Obama, President of Earth!

Bob Saget's your uncle!

I think I've blabbed out Hubdub before, but just thought I'd give you an update now I'm actually doing well. This funtime news prediction site is highly addictive and run by some superb fellows and a great community. This week, I am kicking so much arse, I have actually beaten everyone on the entire site! That's right! My clever betterooney on Hamilton to win the German Grand Prix (god he tested me; by almost NOT winning). Check out my whoopage! Out of 1227 users, I have the highest weekly gain!


Think you can beat me? I'm currently putting most of my money into F1. Check it.

qmwztlxb3

what is this?

My Prediction

F1: Who will win the Formula 1 Driver's Championship in 2008

I predicted Felipe Massa (Ferrari)   
on 22nd Jul 08

More predictions by me: bobsaget

Hubdub - The News Prediction Game

Kerrang! have seen the light yet again this month. A pretty staggering double whammy really: First Converge on the front cover, now in the Kerrang Awards Dillinger Escape Plan are up for Best Live Band. Vote for them! Watch this video as a lovely reminder why they should win. Oh, and remember, everytime you vote for Avenged Sevenfold, a sweet little adorable kitten is murdered!

Set fire to the update on fire!

Before you can say "4 weeks!", I'm back! I am stunned the time has flown by with no updates over all this time. Lack of blogging is not good. Not good in the slightest. Sure it wasn't a "Ten years!" moment but I didn't even do a Glastonbury/Wakestock review. As Andy Gray would say "Poor!" Jay-z was incredible, the vibe was tremendous, yada yada yada, old news...

Anyway, I did write a blog about my iPhone 3G purchase, but I never put it up. Was this a decision based on preserving my integruity and not bragging? No. I simply didn't put it up. If you want to read about my thrilling tale (it was pretty exciting, honest) of my 3G purchase, then go here

Anyway, just to update you all, I wore ankle socks for the first time today. Now, the weather today has been superb. Walking through Princes Street Gardens I am genuinely excited by the precense of tourists, so long as we are rewarded with some sun to boot. But for some reason, I have been consistently cold in the office. Why? Is there a particular draft right by my feet? No. It's these pointless socks which barely go over my ankles. Both my legs have been unusually cold all day all because of these last-pair-in-the-draw socks. Good in hot conditions + shorts. Absolutely pointless in Edinburgh.

Second exciting piece of news today. The Google Street View car whizzed past my office today. No fibbing at all! I'm certain cos Jemima Kiss blogged about it earlier today with some photos showing the camera equipment. My desk looks directly into the road but at wall level, so I can't really see most cars. But then, this black pole with cameras and some yellow computer attached rolled on by. I think it is a bit like when Charlie finds the Golden ticket. Except it offers no whimsical prize, and doesn't come with a nice bar of chocolate. Unfortunately I was rooted to my desk and didn't get out quick enough to be forever immortilised on Google Street view! Bah! Keep up to date with Google ghost car appearances with this handy map.

N00b Mac fan and the 3G iPhone

This is the story…of one man’s journey…to seek out the holy grail of his time…coming this July…rated 12...

Scene:

Our hero struts casually into the o2 shop on Princes Street. Gingerly approaches, “iPhone 3G is here” t-shirt wearing assistant.

“Obviously you’re sold out huh?”

“Yeah…”

Interrupting “I saw the queue this morning and knew they’d be no chance.”

“…we sold out about 30 minutes ago.”

“WHAT!? 30 mintues ago? Awwwww you didn’t have to tell me that!”

“Sorry.”

“Dammit!”

“There are some still available in St Jame’s Centre o2 shop…”

Interrupting (a la Elaine Bennis) “Get out!”

“…they said in our last conference call there are about 8 left”

“Hmmmm.”

Our hero glances out the window of the shop. Car and people traffic is high at 5pm. He mulls the possibility in his head.

“Hmmmmmmm”

Shop-keep winks: “You might as well!”

Hero grabs his phone.

“Hi mum, just heading over to meet you…”

Explains O2 shop story.

Mum: “Well why don’t you just go?”

Turns on a sixpence

“Really?! You think I should”

“Why not?! Go for it! Good luck my son!”



A taxi comes into view. Our hero runs down the middle of the road to the car.

To Grumpy taxi driver 1: “ Can I get in?”

Grumpy Taxi driver 1 shoos our hero away: “There’s a stand right there.”

“But your light is on!”

“You’re in the middle of the road!”

“It’s on red…come on!”

Traffic starts to move

“Yikes!”



Pushes to front of queue for taxis.

Hurriedly polite: “Can I go to St Jame’s centre please?”

Grumpy Taxi driver 2 inaudible grunt

The taxi trundles along right into the Lothian Road traffic.

“Awwww come on, why are we going this way?!”

“grunt”.

“Humph!”


FLASHBACK

That morning

Our hero sits chatting with his mother and brother

“There was this huge queue outside the o2 shop. About 30 people or something.”

“Really?! Ah well, no chance then.”


Present


Time ticks down, 5:15…5.18

The taxi pulls slowly in front of St Jame’s Centre.

“Make it £6!”

grunt

“Tah!’

Mad dash with added skip into building.

“Where the fuck is the o2 shop?”

Scans map. “I am here, where is that? AGH!”

Spots carphone warehouse on right.

Hmmmm, perhaps? No! Tip was for o2 shop. Checks watch. 5.24 EEEEP!

Paces sweatily past rammed smoothie stand and tuts behind slow family. Movegoshdarnit!

Bounds into o2 shop.

Switches to subtle nonchalant mode. 3 men milling around, trying to get attention of shop assistants without seeming too crazy.

Our hero saunters up to the desk.

“Do you have any more iPhones then?”

“*nonplussed* aye.”

“Welll, could I have one?”

“*nonplussed* sure.”

Our hero emits a dramatic sigh. He wipes the beads off his forehead and takes a seat. A black box is placed on the table. iPhone 3G. He smiles.

FIN


..........
Not the dramatic ending I was expecting. But as my mum always says, it's better to enjoy the journey rather than just the destination. I felt like I was in the Amazing Race! It was so much fun!


The fact that there were so many iphones still on sale by the end of launch day in a major city was awfully strange and completely against the sensational media reports I scanned throughout the day. Perhaps there was more stock or maybe just less demand. Either way my tip off + the computers crashing actually helped me. Big props go to the sales assistant, desperate to leave work and go to T in the Park, who didn’t care about my proof of address or frankly any important details. Bish bash bosh I got the phone. It was all very exciting and yet in the end, quite an anticlimax. It’s not really a new phone is it? It’s got some wicked features but it’s still the same look, feel as previous. My internet isn’t really that fast either. But a Facebook application where you can take a photo and it’s instantly put onto Facebook?!?! YES PLEASE!!!! WIZARD! MY HIGHEST SCORE EVER…2 thumbs up!

R.I.P George Carlin

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7468681.stm

And I've only really just started to discover George Carlin's outstanding stand-up :(

My favourite rant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

Take that religion!

Rival Schools + Flood of Red @ King Tut's Wah Wah Hut

19 June 2008


I hate to be the person who picks out one member of a group for criticism, but Flood of Red need a new singer. The current chap's style of singing simply doesn't suit the sheer force of what is an incredible outfit. Whiney and often far too weak, he is a shadow of what is going on behind him. For one, the drummer hits the skins harder and more enthusiastically than anyone I think I've ever seen. It has to be said though; this enthusiasm does help disguise a sound that suffers from not being altogether that forward thinking.

To be fair, Flood of Red's vocalist (apologies for lack of naming, no good bios online) is not helped by early technical problems and to his credit his own personal performance and the overall display by the group really picks up towards the end of the set. We'll just put it down to nerves then shall we?



It seems wrong being nostalgic about a band when you're only in your early twenties, but Rival Schools have been away for well over six years and the last time I saw them I was only around 17!

Fortunately the show isn't all about the past. I mean, just look at how far Rival Schools has come. Walter is sporting a tash; Ian has become rather fat; Sam has shaved off his awesome 'fro; while, last but not least, Cache appears now to be Johnny Drama!

On a more serious note, new songs like Paranoid Detective and a wicked cover of How Soon is Now? show there is still plenty in the tank of this supergroup. Add to this all the hits from United by fate, The Switch, High Acetate and Good Things and you have a crowd full of happily satisfied chappies and chappettes.

It's easy to forget than in the time they've been gone, music has changed so drastically. The MySpace and iTunes revolution; even "emo" has moved from post-hardcore groups like Rival Schools to a tag for pop punk bands.

In the end, predictably, Used for Glue prompts the first mass movement of the crowd, and the faithful leaves suitably happy. This Rival Schools reunion feels different to others. It doesn't feel forced and the band members appear to have taken the time they need apart and seem delighted to be back in front of their, still keen, fanbase.

After one of the all-time great debut albums and a seven year wait for the follow up, it's finally almost time for the "difficult" second album. And I for one, can't wait...It's great to have Rival Schools back!

Another dumbass "musician"...

Kid Rock boycotts Apple iTunes.

Robert Ritchie said: "It's based on an old system where iTunes takes the money, the record company takes the money, and they don't give it to the artists."

Waaah waaaah waaaah, I don't have enough millions.

Let's remind ourselves of the genius and pomposity of this nincompoop:

"I'm going platinum selling rhymes. I went platinum, seven times."

Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich??????!? Vote now!!!!?!

If you ever needed a reason for illegally downloading music ...

'Bassist Gene Simmonds explained that his band were refusing to record new material until illegal downloading ceases, calling the act of downloading "uncivilised".'

http://www.nme.com/news/kiss/37419

Now I'm not one to download illegally (hand on heart, not since Napster!) but Kiss really suck, so by all means everyone, keep up your naughtiness!

NME might have actually got it right with this one...

You know when you watch a music video for the first time and the everything about it just works?

I was entranced by one of the most unique sounds I've heard in indie for a long time with an intriguing video beautifully matching the mood. I don't usually hang on till the end to find out the name of an artist, but I will definately be checking out Glasvegas at Glastonbury next week. (Which will be warm? Don't tease me weatherman!)

Good show guys and gal! Check out 'Geraldine' here

Cause we all just wanna be big RockStars...

When someone hands you something free in Edinburgh…it usually goes in the bin. Just look at Fringe show leaflets as the prime example.

So when I was handed a bottle of Rockstar Energy drink on Princes Street, my first instinct was to send it back to where it came for, or chuck it.

Strangely, I and many many other hurried people on lunch, took the drink back to the office.

Even more worryingly I decided to consume the can, despite the ginormous HIGH CAFFEINE CONTENT warning and the whopping 65g of sugar!

Let’s pick up the action in the beginning of the first sip…

13.21: Glug…nothing new. Tastes like Red-bull, something I instantly associate with sticky floors in a dirty old Weatherspoons pub.

13.26: Already feeling the effects. I did give up fizzy drinks well over a year ago, so I have a very low tolerance these days.

13.29: My usually scribbly handwriting is almost unreadable after a few strokes.

13.32: Jesus McChrist there is still sooooo much left. I know I’m not guzzling it down but still. Entering a very dull calm period.

13.35: Shaking a little. No more than usual. Brain is working at “ludicrous speed”, very useful as I’m brainstorming ideas for a client.

13.47: I need a hit! In discussion with the boss, well away from can on desk. Wobbling slightly, nose leaking rapidly. Glug glug. Ahhhh.

13.51: Heart rate nice and rapid.

13.58: Struggling to communicate effectively. Not an unusual sight, but still…

14.02: Contemplating giving up and switching to my delicious looking bottle of water.

14.06: Bursting for a wee-wee. Good to know there is actually liquid in my sugar & caffeine.

14.08: One sip away from this dramatic climax! Vision went slightly blurry back there, worrying.

14.11: It’s all over folks!

It is very worrying how many of these drinks are now on the market. The amount of sugar and caffeine is absolutely obscene so other than rare circumstances, I can’t see why anyone would drink something like RockStar. More to the point, how could you drink it regularly without getting seriously fat and obscenely hyper.

UPDATE: 17.18 – I feel sick.

Scientology's gonna get ya!

This popped into my inbox today at work. I have been targeted by Tom Cruise and his dangerous cult.

Either that or I've joined one John Travolta fansite too many.

Courtesy of http://www.dianeticslondon.co.uk

*Shiver*

Why Nu-metal WILL come back…

Wikipedia defines nu-metal as "a musical genre that emerged in the mid 1990s which fuses influences from grunge and alternative metal with funk music, hip hop and various heavy metal genres, such as thrash metal and groove metal." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numetal

Remember? I’m talking a fallback to the glory days of Limp Bizkit, Coal Chamber, (real) Slipknot and the mighty Korn. I am adamant this amazing genre will return to the top of the world.

Don’t believe me? It’s evolution. Read my reasoning (you have been warned).

1. The time is now – Now I’m no spring chicken. And I know this because now I’m seeing musical comebacks from bands more recognisable than ever before. Now it’s the Take That’s and the Spice Girls’. By all accounts this means, the next awesome musical era is going to arrive. Korn have laid the groundwork by simply never going away and still getting rad crowds at festivals. Now it’s time for Woodstock 99 all over again! Bring that beat…back!

2. Fashion – Aren’t people sick of rock and metal being inundated by ‘designer’ clothing these days? Every single semi-successful ‘artist’ seems to now have his/her own clothing line. It makes me queasy (not sick, that’s an exaggeration). Nu-metal, however, provides the absolute opposite effect. A look noone will want to copy! But let’s be honest - massive baggy jeans ALWAYS look cool.

3. Emo – Now I’m not going to talk about ‘emo’ like the rest of the media. I’m not going to write like I understand it fully. That wouldn’t be fair. Let me say this, for me, when it started being banded around, it was on the front cover of NME with Jimmy Eat World and Rival Schools. Those were excellent times! How is Nu-metal going to come back? Well, if you are all so emotional about stuff…How long is it till you get angry? With anger comes nu-metal. Mad at dad! It’s way cooler!

And while we’re on the subject. Who do I blame for the death of nu-metal? Linkin Park? Limp Bizkit themselves (possibly)? No…I blame Staind. ‘Outside’ pushed the genre to new emotions rather than anger. It was moving and a collective sigh of feeling like an outsider…Enter MCR.

4. MCR...I for one, just wish they would admit to their blatant desire to make accessible, popular, mall-punk, rather than ripping off Queen in an attempt to be taken seriously. Perfectly summed up here.

“Nu-metal?”
“Yeah!?”
“Do you take yourself too seriously?”
“Hell no!”

Evidence A: “Intro” off Significant Other – “You wanted the worst? You got the worst. The one. The only. Limp Bizkit.”

I rest my case (you better rest your face!)

Conclusion: If Michael Eavis really wanted to ruffle a few old hen feathers and tickle the youth, he should have slam-dunked LB as the headliners over the Verve. There’s no better way to ruin a hippy vibe than Fred Durst.

Ooh ah ah ah ah!

A big old waffle

I'm sure you know this by now, but I thought I'd spell it out. I'm a massive TV geek. Not in a very modern sense, I still maintain the structure of waiting to see a show each week on TV rather than catching it all online, but because of the damn near obsessive nature of watching DVD boxsets and serieslinking too many shows to fit into each night.

I recently finally finished the majesty of Seinfeld, but being like I am, I started watching each season again, taking in the mouth-watering array of special features I may earlier have missed in my rush to learn the outcome of stories (Seinfeld? What stories..?). And one thing I'm really enjoying, which often goes overlooked, is audio commentaries.

This is a level of interest in a show which really separates the men from the geeks. Listening to stars, writers, directors etc talking over famous episodes is a wet dream of insider anecdotes and, usually, some good banter.

Simpson’s boxsets provide some of the best audio commentaries you will find. Hilarious chat between original writers in earlier seasons is too good to miss. You'll even catch Conan O'Brien in early seasons for Pete’s sake! What is done to perfection here is the ability to get genuinely funny people to lift the lid on even the dullest of episodes.

But watching/listening to Yada Yada Yada (Commentaries) on Seinfeld series 4&5 you notice a slight lack of thought.

When the stars are brought together (Julia Louis Dreyfus, Jason Alexander and Michael Richards) the viewer is treated to the cliquey and rip-roaring behind the scenes memories from a group who clearly have a great bond. Writers Max Pross & Tom Gammill (If you can take his silly voice) provide some great insight into a working environment where Larry David is a boss (Heaven?). Where Seinfeld DVDs gets it wrong though is giving episodes to director Tom Cherones.

Granted he's a great director who was at the helm for some classic episodes. Problem is...he's old and boring. He talks the viewer through the episode, rather than reflecting on it with a suitable commentary buddie. Jerry, even on his own, manages to grab your interest based on the simplest observations (usually "I'm trying to contain laughter there!")

The next step really is to take in some of my favourite shows with commentary that aren't comedy. Can you effectively listen to some great titbits while the plot is racing along on the Wire? I'm not sure. But of course I'm sure I can find some hours in the day/night to quench this nerdy thirst.

I'm really not a Russell Brand fan...

...but if rumours of him hosting a reprised version of the absolute classic gameshow the Crystal Maze ("Get out! Get the crystal!) are true, I'd have to say he would be an excellent candidate for a very challenging hosting role.

Imagine the possibilities of a Brand new (very drole...) Crystal Maze with all the advancements in television. But, let's be honest, they tend to cock these remakes up. So, here are my top tips:

Stick to the same format - We don't want to see teams competing against each other; No families, only grown-ups; There has to be the Crystal Dome finish; There absolutely has to be the crappy prize of a Crystal in a box. etc

Do not, under any circumstances - Try to include CGI into the challenges or surroundings! Large, semi-realistic sets are a must, not computerised worlds filmed in front of a blue screen.

Zones: Aztec, Futuristic and Medieval were all winners. Ocean World was pants. A forth, equally brilliant world must be created.

Will Brand turn out to be a fantastic Richard O'Brien or a lame Ed Tudor-Pole? Either way I'm tuning in. I think this could be a proper Saturday/Sunday night winner!

Thoughts?

Ministry of Gaming, Edinburgh

I’m not embarrassed to say I really wanted to just sit back and play video games last night. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you follow the money, you’ll see that video games are overtaking both the music and movie industry. But having recently moved about and being stuck on a rather slow computer with a dodgy cable connection I haven’t been able to get my fix.

Luckily Edinburgh is home to the Ministry of Gaming. Located on Bread Street this place claims to be “Edinburgh’s hub for competitive and community gaming” and it isn’t hard to see why. Buzzing with younger blokes (stereotype confirmed) at around 7pm on a Thursday night, the set up is reminiscent of all the best things about Laser Quest when you were little. “Wow....it’s like the future!” There are almost 30 very very powerful computers for gaming, with your own login, comfy black leather chair and headphones to zone yourself in.

The speed of the connection is staggering and forces n00b gamers like myself to refrain from blaming lag for my constant dying and lack of killing. Oh yeah, before I go on, the game I play is CounterStrike: Source. If you haven’t read about it, CS is one of the most popular for online competitive gaming with competitions going on across the world, as well as at MoG. It is a first-person shooter pitting Terrorists vs. Counterterrorists.

And there’s one other thing you should know about CS. I’m not very good. I stink in fact. But even worse than that, in MoG, where you'll find the finest gamers Edinburgh has to offer, I failed repeatedly to even get the programme running. My inability forced me to ask the very helpful staff for help no fewer than three times. Luckily, this isn’t jock land where I would be publicly mocked and humiliated for this kind of idiocy (Since when have I lived in a US High school?!?)

Anyway...When I finally got going, the time flew along. My hour (£4; prices per hour drop the more time you pay for) was filled with a few spasms of excitement as I smelt my first kill, duly getting p0wned, and many many “expletive deleted” outbursts.

For me, MoG is a great place to play your favourite games on computers that can actually run them! But clearly it is a “hub” for gaming, and anyone with a slight inkling to give it a try will find themselves rewarded with gentle assistance, stunning equipment and a fantastic array of games.

Wanna know what I’m like playing CS? Boom headshot!

Ministry of Gaming is open Mon - Sat 10am till 10pm and Sun - 10am till 8pm
www.tmog.co.uk/

Fancy reading more about Gaming? Check out Dave Cook's blog

As MPs debate Abortion...

...I implore you to watch this video.

You know those guitars that are like, double guitars?

I have been pretty rigid with my music lately. Everyday is the same couple of albums, and they're all new. It got me thinking. What would a Supergroup from these bands look like? Well....hold your breath....cos here we go!

Singer: Tommy Rogers - Between the Buried and Me.
A phenomenal metal singer with a genuinely good voice too. Seeing BTBAM supporting Dillinger Escape Plan, I was completely taken aback how precise and perfect his vocals were live. His intensity is overwhelming while the bipolar journey the songs take you on really magnify his excellent range.

Bassist: Chris Cain - We are Scientists.
Ok it's time for some much needed coolness. Who better to fill the roll than the whiteboy afro and tash legend from the excellent We are Scientists. If you watch an interview with Cain, you'll know what I'm talking about. Witty, quick and smooth, this guy is the opposite of what bassists usually are (I'm looking at you Nate Mendel!)

Lead Guitar: It's amazing when you dislike a band so much, they go and change their sound, alienating a lot of their original fans - just to get you on board. I disliked Panic! at the Disco so much, and yet their new album is superb. Equal parts delightful pop and country, it is so far removed from the hideous pretentious 'clever' punk sound they went for before. Thus, I am awarding my lead guitar to Ryan Ross from Panic at the Disco (even though he looks five-years old).

Drummer: Goodness it would be easy to throw in the BTBAM drummer here. But no...I won't. I'm giving it to Jack Bevan from Foals. A token indie drummer granted, but Bevan is spectacularly metronomic.

Rhythm Guitar: A cheeky pick here really. I'm going for Alex Turner from the Last Shadow Puppets. Proving himself to be the most accomplished and fantastic artist of our current generation, Turner is also a darned good (sometime) backing singer with the Last Shadow Puppets. Add to this his nifty guitar skills, I think he'll do nicely.

What would they sound like? A hybrid of indie, pop, electronica and metal, or in other words, a big pile of rubbish.

Manchester - some perspective

There's a great piece by Tom English in today's Scotland on Sunday about the violence following Ranger's loss in the UEFA Cup final.

It is good to finally see someone hit the nail square on the head in the Scottish media for what was a disgraceful turn of events.

Read the article in full here

All eyes are now firmly on the Chelsea and Manchester United fans this coming Wednesday in Moscow for the Champions League final. Let's just hope we don't have a repeat of Manchester.

Que Sera, Sera...

Well, the unthinkable has happened. Rochdale AFC, the most "unsuccessful club" in English football (famed for never leaving the lowest flight in the football league) are going to the play-off final to battle Stockport for a place in League One

Beating Darlington on penalties today means the Dale are off to Wembley for the first time in their 100 year history.

My love affair with the club started two years ago after my uncle's company MMC became sponsors. Ok, so not the most romantic football story, but a few games at Spotland has turned me into a fully fledged supporter.

And having experienced the horror/joy of actively supporting a team in the playoffs, I can safely say I can't wait for Wembley. Whether I can make it down or not is not decided, either way, the Dale are going up.

I'm so confident in fact, I've created a Hubdub question, so think I'm wrong? Take me on here.

"The Finale" Review (10 years late) Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Ten years to the day, "The Finale" was broadcast to an audience of 76 million views. (To the day! How spooky is that?!?) And, last night, I finally watched the last ever episode of the legendary show, Seinfeld.

I may be ten years late, but fate has brought me to this point. My casual purchase of Season's 1-3 in a sale at HMV last year started something. A pathway which led to my bedroom last night (steady...). Lying watching my TV I finally, with all the character and show history correctly viewed and etched in my memory, enjoyed "The Finale", exactly ten years after it was originally screened. Just imagine, all those people back then with their small TVs and slow internet.

I can't remember ever watching Seinfeld on the TV. I know I knew about it. But something inside me insinuated that isn't up my street. Very strange indeed really, when, having completed Series One, I realised any reservations were completely unfounded, and that Seinfeld will be one of my favourite shows ever.

Why is it so good? Well it's clearly not lost anything over time as the humour is still spot on. It isn't about "nothing" but the conversations, some of the plots and settings are normal, allowing the legendary characters to make this show. Watched in a group, it is even funnier. Lol funny.

My favouite episode? Well it's hard to look past "The Contest" ("I'm out!") but I also hold the "The Parking Garage" and "The Merv Griffen Show" in super high regard.

And "The Finale"? What of that...Well it's certainly not what I expected (a similar reaction, I've learnt, to the original broadcast) but it captured how innovative Seinfeld was. A long time ago I wrote a blog about the best endings to TV shows ever..."The Finale" is great in so many ways, and I was on tenterhooks for the closing, but tbh I wouldn't put it up there. More, it should be remembered for the season which led up to that point. Finally hitting his stride without Larry, Seinfeld season 9 is right up there with the superb early series.

There's no doubting Seinfeld's 'classic TV' tag and it is now firmly in my rotating cycle of DVDs I can watch over and over and over...(add to this Curb, Scrubs and Simpsons).

Ten years young and still rocking. How it isn't overtly-syndicated on TV like Friends I'll never know.

Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty.

The Bible Code: 2008

Alright, so not exactly the Bible Code...but do you remember that book? I was a young gullible fellow when I picked up a copy from the local library. It translated messages that were encoded in the Hebrew bible. A total load of tosh tbh where if you looked hard enough you could decode absolutely anything (just look at the windings September 11 coincidence.)

Well today, something of similar, yet truthful and exciting, nature happened to me.

Dissecting my shorthand notes from a recent meeting, I noticed a pattern. If I focused on certain words on certain lines, I was given a message. A message which spoke volumes and needed to be translated to you all urgently.

Please take a moment now to observe the message I discovered (a la Joseph Smith, Jr)....


The shorthand (from different lines and taken out of context) reads:
I'm...I...finished...worst

Alone as scripture, it means nothing. And yet, together these teeline words illustrate perfectly a cheeky chappy pulling a funny face and giving us a wink.

Feel free to pass on this amazing discovery. It offers genuine positivity.

Premiership Final Day - A reflection

Well, that's it. The final day of the Premiership gave everything one would expect and more. Now that the dust has settled, it’s time to look back…wait…let me clarify myself - you haven't missed the end of the Football Premiership...no that's tomorrow! Today saw the final day of the Guinness Premiership regular season. That's Rugby union don't you know.

As with football, the final day of the rugby union premiership is an absolute mathematical game. Throw in bonus points for 4 tries scored and only losing by seven, and it makes things even more complicated. Four teams still had the chance to get into the top four, thus giving them a semi-final, which then leads to a Grand Final type occasion. All to play for on the final day, this was electric.

TV gave us the top two - Gloucester vs Bath. And just like a disgusting rain-soaked Rec earlier in the season, viewers were treated to the best the English Premiership had to offer. As a pair of matches, these were frenetic, entertaining and extremely physical and proved - ELVS be damned - the English premiership is by-far and away the most entertaining club league competition in the world.

Avram Grant recently said that maybe, in this occasion as the top two look set to finish on equal points, a 'final' should be arranged. He may have a point when you look at the thrill of the Guinness Premiership.

On display is a great amalgamation of what rugby has to offer. You've got the English experience of Grewcock and Borthwick mixed with what is effectively the future of the England team with Lamb and Banahan. Add to this some hugely influential foreigners like Butch James and Marco Bortolami and you can see the spread of quality that gifts this league.

Of course, I don't want to get into a high and mighty ramble about why I feel rugby is better than football, but let me highlight some of the intricacies which makes it such a fantastic sport - with focus on today's action.

The Gloucester players playing at home at Kingsholm walked through the crowd into the ground pre-match. Isn't that lovely? I even once saw Andrew Sheridan on TV getting dropped off by a mate for a game. You wouldn't see a defensive superstar from football in a similar predicament would you? But this is the joy of being below football in terms of popular team sports in England. Rugby revels as a furiously competitive professional sport still in touch with its amateur roots, whereas football creates demi-gods of its participants.

Another area which benefits rugby is the recognition of defence. In rugby, as with Gloucester’s, predominately, defensive heroics today, teams are credited and championed for digging deep and defending. Football doesn't have this luxury. It pains me when a football team produces a magnificent defensive display - last ditch tackles, phenomenal ariel presence and tight all across the park - and all anyone can talk about is how the other team 'deserved something' from the match. Man Utd beat Barcelona with two incredible defensive displays. But at the end of the day, attacking Barca got the majority of commentator approvals, even though United came in with a clear plan to quell any threat.

Today Bath threw everything at Gloucester in another highly entertaining game and in the end the Cherry and Whites came out on top and get a home tie in the playoffs. In action elsewhere, as a result of mind-boggling mathematical permutations, Leicester (rubbish Leicester!) nicked a spot from Harlequins (lovely 'Quins - despite Strettle's hair)!

Such a explosive final day only serves to whet the appetite for both the playoffs, final and, who can forget, England (surely with Cipriani at the helm) taking on New Zealand in June. (Think you can predict the outcome? Take me on here)

This wonderful weekend of sport is now very much underway. Before the nail biting madness that is Chelsea (hopefully) snatching the title tomorrow, we have the more important business of Rochdale doing the business in the first leg of their playoff hopes. Up the Dale!

The Daily Show with Stephen Colbert

In case you hadn’t noticed (and why would you, it’s on FX…) The Colbert Report is finally on UK television.

Want to know the numbers? Well now there are two! We have the full serving of popular American political cable shows now on UK screens (albeit on FX…) on a (nearly) nightly basis (Daily Show: Global Edition? What a crock). Sure we’re a few days out and there are countless US-audience-specific namedrops which fly ever-so high over our heads, but I for one, cannot get enough.

The Colbert Report focuses on the immense character of Stephen Colbert. Satirising American political pundits, like my favourite Bill O’Reilly (If you really want to giggle, Sky+ FOX News for The O’Reilly Factor, trust me) , Colbert produces something completely different to what I’ve become used to on the Daily Show. With John Stewart, you get all the ridiculous best bits from politics and the media in America, with Stewart lapping up the laughs from some perfectly executed gestures/jokes/pen scribbling/shouting. But Colbert is a better character. Heavily unreliant on the audience, his act puts Stewart to shame.

The Colbert Report interviews, with typically anonymous US guests, are much more watchable. Why? Because Colbert’s character still rules over the invited guest, whereas Stewart (and I mean this in the most pleasant terms) panders and engages with guests.

Granted this is only week one of this mighty clash, but I my allegiance to Stewart is already waning. Only time will tell. Which show will be unserieslinked the fastest?

And what a Colbert Report to start on this week. The battle between Colbert and Rain (…“RAIN!!!” *shakes fist*)…amazing.

My name’s Chris. My American TV obsession continues thanks to Brothers and Sisters, Mad Men, Big Bang Theory and Heroes. Keep at it Apprentice and Peep Show! I’m not all the way over to the dark side…yet.

Le Fabuleux destin d'Christophé Welton (2008)

Narrator: Christophé Welton doesn't like
queuing with someone else too close behind him.
He doesn't like
noticing people staring at his old gym clothes.
cooking spaghetti that clumps together to form one big strand.
Christophé Welton likes
to see people stumble and pretend it didn't happen.
to eat big slices of pizza with his hands.
to take all his DVDs,
make sure the discs are in boxes,
and, finally, put everything in a new order

Maintenant...en Francaise si vous play.

The Edinburgh International Film Festival press launch

"Hey look, I'm Woody, howdy howdy howdy"

I was priviledged enough to go along to the press launch of the Edinburgh international film festival today. A crowded Cinema 1 were treated to some of the potential highlights from what is to come this June.

Two things lept out of the screen and of the programme.

They are....

Wall.e - Pixar are hammering out the pics now. If Ratatouille was anything to go by (and it is...) then this is sure to be another work of art. Lack of dialogue aside, there is a cute robot, who is all alone. Could we be looking at the new eeyore? (When me and my family visited Disney Land in Florida, there was a queue for Whinnie the Pooo, but eeyore was all alone - was it set up that way? Sympathy vote!)

Back to the Future - Clearly not new and rather uninspiring of me posting about this in a blog focusing on the finest Film Festival in UK, but, as my favourite film it is being taken to the max. An outdoor summer screening! Surely there will be face offs over scientific inaccuracies and communal quoting throughout.

"Let's see if you bastards can do 90" GO MARTY!

What is the deal with....?

Welcome to my blog. I have been actively blogging for the company I work for but I felt it was time to shoot the breeze with you fine people with no agenda, a la Bill O'Reilly. But fear not, my slightly moderate musings go nowhere near old Bill, ah what a comforting soul he is.

No, this blog will reflect more of a Seinfeld stand-up routine, but without the giggles. "What's the deal with...?" A study of things in a very much ordinary life of a twenty-something in his first job, living for the weekend. But wait...come back...it's not going to be BORING. I'm not one of these folks who rambles about their dull, mundane and routine lives. I quip a good blog, and hope you can recognise that.

"Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"